What Does It Mean to Fail?

Let's just say that I was once a dreamer with broken wishes -or broken spirit. Let me ask: what does it mean to fail?

I was always conviced that failure happens when you give up. But I guess I wasn't strong enough to face my disappointment when I cannot get 'something'. I have kept trying yet none was fruitful. Then it hit me hard, you are just some loser and poof! My spirit for pursuing my dreams disappeared.

Trying to Pursue Lost Dream

It has been a while since I write a post. And I somehow felt my English has become rusty ever since I entered college. Maybe that was because I had no chance to practice it so frequently like I did in middle school and high school. 

Anyway, this time I just want to write down about my lost dream. For me, writing is like an outlet of my feelings and thoughts. That way I could settle down my anxiety or whatever feeling I had hehehe. Even though it's been a long time since my last post here, I've been writing for myself in a particular diary. I felt like closing my self to people nowadays, that's why I've been writing only for myself.

Enough of the chit-chat, now to the main topic of this post ^ ^ ;

As I am now, I stand in the end of my fourth semester in college. My exams were finally over and it is time for the results to be out. Phew, I'm not very confident about my results this semester. As for my study plan, I had planned to finish my bachelor degree in 3.5 years. I had taken more credits than it supposed to be before. But now I am kind of puzzled with what should I do from this point. If everything proceeds accordingly, I would be able to get my degree in 1.5 years. But after that? What would I do? Finding a job? To be honest, I have already thought of the possibility of getting married early and settle down. But then I came across my old and lost dream: pursuing higher education in Japan, precisely Tokyo Daigaku.

I once was so dazzled by people who went faraway to foreign land to pursue another education. I was so dazzled that I dreamed to be just like them. In the past, I even put some effort to study abroad. First, I failed the written examination for NTU. Second, I passed the written test of Monbukagakusho 2014 but failed the interview. I was broken, really really heartbroken. After all, my biggest dream is to study in Japan and I missed the opportunity by an inch (well, exaggerating ehehehe).

After being heartbroken, I kinda regretted my choice of enrolling at my current university. If I had known I would not be accepted in Monbu, I would have chosen to fight a fierce battle to enroll at another technical university outside my hometown. But after some time passed, I realized if I had chosen that, I would never be able to taste the fight of Monbukagakusho. I would never have such rare opportunity. And now I am grateful that I had such experience. Maybe that experience would benefit me when I try to enter the same yet different battle. Monbukagakusho 2018, Master and Doctoral Program!

In this point, I am going to pursue my lost dream once again... I better start making some preparations though I'm not really confident with what would happen in the future.

GOOD DAY

Soooo... My Name is Anggada Sakti and.....umm.... because Laras letting me use her blog so....

 i would like to post something here...and i just want to tell ...

i Love Her soo much :3

and....

i will always...

love her....

forever....

okay that's all and thank you :D

and see you one the next one!!! Stay Awesome Bros *insert Brofist Here*

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BROFIST ...........

P.S : I hope she will not delete this :p and i believe her, because... she loves me too xD