Bittersweet Sixteen

Ever since I was a kid, my parents had been busy with their own matters. They didn't have a lot of time for me. They didn’t pay much attention to me. Well, they cared about me, but not that much. They did look after me, but not like how they spent so much effort in looking after my little sister. When it comes to my little sister, they will try to loosen up a bit –giving their affections, kindness and the precious time. By thinking this way, I made myself looked like I’m jealous of her. That’s not exactly true –only a bit, I guess. Hey, I’m talking the truth from my childish point of view.

Every year on the day I was born, I’d always get their warm ‘Happy Birthday’ greetings in the morning. I’d always smile happily and hug them back. When I turned sixteen, I still expected such childish thing to happen. I believed they wouldn’t forget it. In the morning, I wake up and nothing happened. They were still asleep. I thought maybe they would say it later. When I was about to leave home for school, I thought they would say it. Nothing happened –I guess later. When I got home, I thought they would definitely say it and apologize. But nothing happened. Instead of my childish expectation, my mom got a bit mad at me. That time, I gave up on my hope. They wouldn’t remember.

Feeling empty, I remembered that one of my best friends didn't say ‘Happy Birthday’ to me. It made me felt down and broke my spirit. “He didn't remember. Oh well, why would he remember if my family didn’t even do?” that sentences came across my mind and made me pretty messed up. “What a childish way of thinking.”

At night, someone texted me and told me to open deviantart. I never expected him to draw something for me, especially for my birthday. And his drawing got something to do with our conversation on school. I did not know why that drawing became so special. So I told him that I was very happy because he did remember. Besides, I told him about my parents. He listened to everything I said, everything I had on my mind until I felt relieved. Just by talking about it, I got better. I thought it's time to grow up and being mature.

What I want to say is: “Your inner self have to grow up, because time would not stop moving. But, growing up doesn't mean you won't need your parents.”