That Moment

When you feel down and the person you want to talk to the most bitterly rejects you, how would you feel? 

Sad? That's the closest one. But in my case, it's really complex. The sadness was mixed with anger and a heavy mood. And disappointment too. In that crowd, I endured the pain on my left knee and ankle that were hurt. And that pain on my chest when I was bitterly rejected. I wanted to tell that person, sharing stories. He said I should share my story to another since I rarely tell my problems. He said it's not good to keep problems all to myself. So I followed his advice.

I stared at him, wishing that he would come closer since I couldn't come any closer. But I could saw he clearly avoided my eyes. He did not want to look at me. What's more, in that very same day, he was very kind to me. But what now? What kind of attitude is that when I really need you? I restrained my tears from overflowing just because I was in a crowd. And there were my friends next to me.

And those harsh words. That vibe you give was certainly awful, horrible. Since when did I become such a crybaby? Huh, this is... weird. Lately I've been so weak and emotional. Huh, what is this?

Thank you. Really, thanks for everything that you've done.

And one thing, I'm really sorry for certain someone. I just can't cheer on you when I'm like this. Really sorry. Even though it seems you're in worse situation, I could do nothing. But I do wish you would find that real happiness.